I know you didn't mean to make me cry...

When someone hurts you its hard to let go of the pain.....I know and see you struggle with anger and pain
What we fail to see is that the pain is often our own dreams crashing to the ground and they are the very things that hurt us.

I wish you happiness and I love you. My love for you is childlike, innocent and pure and came out of the blue and hung just on a feeling but it was the strongest feeling I ever felt. I surrender my dreams because they may hurt you and I would rather bear the hurt than pull at you at the very time you are falling in love. I feel tears and sorrow deeply inside and nobody will see it or can calm it. Its part of me now this familiar sadness and hollow and hopelessness. The very sadness I had been running from.

Nobody ever fought for me and I don't expect anyone ever will. But, knowing you love someone and that you don't feel the same for me....I know how the story ends. I've known for some time but I wanted to hang on a little longer. I'm sorry only that I met you as a married man and not when I was free. The fault is all mine and my sadness too. But in my dreams, which were unrestrained, I had a happy life with you and you were good to me...and that is my sadness; knowing.

I want to run and scream and cry but everything feels bound up tightly inside; only veins and muscles twitch and salty sleepless tears form and slowly fall. Today I have no dreams, no true home ...only tears and my only fear is that they will remain forever. Whatever God has now chosen for me, I am just now a feather in the wind and feel unworthy of love. The trailing whisps of dreams are not enough to bear the weight of my sorrow.

When my tears dry, I hope you know I still care and I will not abandon you if you need a friend or a shoulder to lean on. You are still precious and you are in my heart.

Because.... I know you didn't mean to make me cry.